An Open Letter to Winter

Dear Winter,

In light of the fact that we are on the eve of yet another snow storm, I felt there were some things that we needed to address. You have officially over stayed your welcome. There have been subtle hints at your timely departure, however you seem to have ignored them all. So, I now have the uncomfortable task of spelling it out for you. No one likes you. Not even Mother Nature, if she had, she would have made you Summer or Spring or Fall. Need I go on? You’re the worst.

It’s time to face the facts. People only like you for one reason, that’s right, December 25th. A White Christmas. Once that night is over, no one wants to see you again, until we’re all vulnerable and nostalgic. To be honest, you being all over the place so much lately is starting to get you a reputation. I mean, I think you’re getting more media coverage than Lewinsky and Clinton did in the 90’s. You even took advantage of Georgia. Georgia! They weren’t prepared for you. Do you know what a typical winter is like in Georgia? Summer in Canada.

So, when Rosemary Clooney sang, “What would the world be with no snow,” the answer is…awesome. Best world ever. So, kindly pack your things and go. In the words of Semisonic’s Closing Time, “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”

Sincerely,
That Kid That Hates You