10 Facts of Life at 25

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It’s 25. Since turning 25, what are some inevitable truths about life at 25/being a productive member of adult society?

1. I have discovered that you need a dictionary when you go to the grocery store. Between organic, gluten free, sugar free, fat free, riboflavin free I have no idea what to buy. Something that I have come to realize is that organic is a fancy term for expensive. For instance, carrots are already organic because they are from the ground. But on the other hand, yes I would love to pay twice the price for untreated spinach so  I can  gamble with listeria.

2. I have found these things called saddle bags. I tried to return them, since I have no horse and no use for them, but apparently that’s not how it works. You will find me lunging everywhere from now on.

3. As much as I may be mistaken for Sophia from the Golden Girls, I will continue to wear a sun hat and layers of sun block at the pool because the only alternative is ending up looking like an oily baseball glove covered in moles.

4. I still have not ended my toxic relationship with the snooze button. You keep getting me into trouble and talking me into things, but I can’t quit you.

5. I worship at the altar of dry shampoo because it is clearly a gift from the gods. am I right?

6. My metabolism has begun playing hide and go seek and my metabolism is winning. Marco…..Marco.

7. Mastering the art of laundry is not within my skill set. No matter how many times I think I have done my laundry, I still have a pile of clothing hanging around taunting me. I have resorted to wearing dresses when I’m out of jeans for work, because apparently wearing sweat suits to work is “inappropriate” and “against the dress code”.

8. The adult purpose of Excel is balancing your budget and paying bills, which is even more boring than whatever Excel was originally created for.

9. It is more than slightly pathetic when you owe fines to the library as an adult. I feel like it really makes people wonder about what other poor decisions you have made.

10. I am at an age where I really don’t see the point in a lot of the technology that has been coming out lately. What is the point of a watch phone? The answer none. No point at all… Apple. However, people older than I am seem to think that the basic applications I do know how to use make me a wizard.

“What is this sorcerey?”

“Powerpoint. It’s just a powerpoint.”